Sons and Lovers: A Semi-Autobiography

To start is the hardest part of any journey. And that is precisely how I feel about writing this review. The subject matter, the plot, the actualities within this fiction, and all the levels of emotions you encounter with this piece of art, it make is hard for me to summarize this 650+ page book within a few words.

There are days when you stray from your path and encounter something or someone so beautiful, twisted, dark yet deliciously inviting that you can not afford to leave it behind. This is what I feel about this book, and D H Lawrence felt while writing this book. With words slipping out of my fingers, I can not control the emotions this novel has excited in my heart.

Plot:

Sons and Lovers story of Morel’s, an English family in the late 19-century. Gertrude Morel, born in a high-class business family marries a coal miner beneath her standers. She births 4 children, William, Annie, Paul, and Arthur. Sons and lovers give us the sight of the relationships Mrs. Morel has with her son and the relations of the sons with their lover. The title, however, is a double entendre. The sons are the lovers too…

This semi-autobiographic novel, in substance, is divided into two parts. The first part revolves around Mrs. Morel's life. As a headstrong woman, she takes the change in lifestyle without much complaint and with the class expected of a lady. Over time falling out of love with her husband, Mrs. Morel becomes an overbearing mother to her older son William, trying to practice control over the decisions he makes in his life. Once he moves out of the house and tries building a life for himself with other women, Mrs. Moral is hurt as if being betrayed by her lover.

With William's unexpected demise, Mrs. Morel diverts her focus on her second son, Paul.

Paul, unlike William, craves this love and takes all she gives him. He is obsessed with her mother and imagines a monopoly over her the way Mr. Morel never had. His Oedipus complex becomes problematic for him when he encounters Miriam, a naïve, sweet village girl. Paul, loves the control he has over Miriam, he loves toying with her feeling, and yet she comes back into the palm of hand only to be crushed by the burden of comparison.

Paul loves Miriam, but when he compares her with her mother she does not stand a chance. In Paul's view, no woman can be better than Mrs. Morel, and he does not want to settle for less. When it comes to choosing between gullible, naïve, submissive Miriam and independent, feminist, independent, Clara, Paul takes his mother's judgment to go for Clara.

Mrs. Morel:

Facing the financial problem, Mrs. Morel never complain about her station too much, she dealt with all that in a sophisticated manner. Her problem rises from Mr. Morel and his defiance of her rules. Demanding control, over his actions Mrs. Morel focused her will on her children when she could not control her husband.

Turning cold to her husband, she acted victim before her sons, creating a valley between the sons and fathers. She feels the control sleeping when her sons come of age and find solace within the rams of women that were not their mother.

The clash of masculinity and Oedipus effect:

Both William and Paul complained about their women not being like their mother. When William and his fiancé Louisa come over to the Morel residence, he is cruel to her, passing mean comments to her, belittling her for not being the woman he expenses his wife to be. Yet could not let her go. A similar dynamic is seen with Paul and Miriam. Paul is not as unkind as William, he does not use cruel words, but his actions speak for his loathing with the submissive nature of Miriam. This dynamic is the consequence of Mrs. Morel setting a standard for the ideal partner. To Paul and William, she is the epitome of a partner. When they encounter the women who are submissive and soft-hearted, as expected of them for the ladies of that era, the clash in ideas enrages them and then gets taken out on the poor women. Paul leaves Mariam for a “better match” he finds in Clara, but the relationship does not work out either when Paul keeps the same one-hand-distance policy with Clara. Unlike Miriam, Clara asks questions and demands affection, she compares Paul to Baxter Dawes, his ex-husband. The clash between the need to find a headstrong woman and the masculine urge to dominate them contradicts the young Morels.

Why you should read this?

Despite being a 20th-century classic, there is a list of the reasons this book should be on your TBR list. If you are as nosy as I am, this book will probably be of your interest as the plot of loosely based on the life of the writer himself. D H Lawrence, being self-aware of his attraction towards his mother wrote the character that resembled him and his mother. He understood that the feelings he harbors for his mother are not normal, neither is the overbearing nature of his mother. He is quick to catch on the treatment they give each other is complex. Moreover, Miriam is a replication of Jessie Chambers, an old friend, and ex-fiancé. Just like Paul broke his relationship with Jessie, Lawrence also moved on from her to his life partner, Frieda von Richthofen renamed, Clara Dawes.

My emotions in words:

Although this semi-autobiography is not meant to be relatable a few chapters hit very close to home. The vulnerability of Mr. morel was one thing that I felt at my core. A man who would not be with his family due to his restrains, how he felt lonely more at home than at the public amongst the stranger is a lesser noticed aspect of the story. His absence was the loudest noise I heard. I felt no sympathy for Mrs. morel, this doe not relate to the credibility of the writer but my own lacks. I despise William for being hateful to the girl he held in his claws and hated Louisa for feeling stuck and not leaving at the first sign of disrespect. Paul infuriated me the most. He crushed a sweet soul and sowed the seed of sorrow in her heart. His own incompetency to commitment, his inability to give himself to Miriam, and yet the expectation to receive the absolute world from her is the core issue in demolishing the relationship they had. The absence of Arthur morel and Annie tells the relation they have with their mother. Mrs. Morel doesn't have her world revolving around the younger kids because they take after their father, there are different from their elder brothers, and favor their dad.

Conclusion:

Filled with raw emotions, this work of fiction cannot be called just that. Lawrence wrote this, criticizing his own life. To deliver one's own life story with a morally ambiguous character, which is not very likable remarks as a sign of greater understanding and consciousness. The solo walk Paul takes, in the end, is the writer's lonely heart feeling vulnerable after the demise of his mother. This is one of the books that I consider as re-readable. One believer of mine that this book solidifies is that our conditioning is the reason for our circumstances. 

Rating: 8.74/10